Autistic Trauma in the Context of Sexual Violence and Abuse

By Starfish

The problem is that the spectrum is vast, and autistic individuals can react to trauma in very different ways from each other. Some of us might shout and scream. Others will go grey rock (minimise emotional reactions and engagement) and become non-speaking. Others may elope (run away from a carer or form a safe area). 

Eloping or running off for an autistic individual, doesn’t mean they have done something wrong. It is not a sign of guilt. It is more likely that they are trying to escape from the person or thing that is triggering them, and this is a natural trauma response. 

Pain is another feeling we experience differently, and it is essential to be aware of this when supporting autistic individuals following trauma. Some autistic individuals struggle to notice that they are hurt as they have a high threshold for pain. Others have a very low tolerance and perhaps due to trauma can have, an out of the ordinary response. They may need reassurance and care. Reassurance might not mean a hug but just a calm voice. Or a quiet place.

If you demand answers or actions from an autistic individual, the interaction might not go well. If you order them around, they may become distressed and do the opposite of what you need them to do. Even if the need is for their own safety. 

When working with an autistic individual in a trauma situation, it is essential to be calm and quiet, and to make very few demands. Asking too many questions at once adds demands, and this can lead to a meltdown. 

Generally speaking, use a calm, quiet voice. Suggesting to them, that going to quiet room and away from loud noises may well work. Even better, if there is someone they know well that they can be with that could help. Many autistic people are wary of strangers and take time to get to know new people. 

Giving autistic individuals time to process what has happened or how they are feeling is very important. Asking them lots of questions won’t help. Slow down for them. Perhaps try a different way to communicate. Pen/pencil/paper /you-tube clip/ offering fidget toys. Some autistic people will talk a great deal and find it hard to stop. They may even overshare if they feel anxious. Afterwards feeling exposed. Others will not be able to speak. All of them will require patience and understanding. 

Some may have learning disabilities as well as or as a part of autism. They may struggle with recall after an event or conversation. Or have memory loss. They may struggle with maths or reading. They might find it hard to write or be at risk of accidents. Finding it hard to either use gross motor or fine motor skills. They may have social anxiety and find groups or crowds very daunting. 

Lastly, I wanted to talk about the cost of discussing trauma. When you are talking to anyone about their history it will cause physical and mental disruption. It is better, if a person is recently abused, for a professional to talk to them. 

Remember, it is up to the autistic individual if they wish to disclose abuse. If you open up wounds before they are ready to talk, they may struggle for the rest of the day or longer. This makes it hard for them to perform simple tasks such as cooking, eating, childcare or just getting themselves home. If it is unavoidable and they need to tell you about what has happened to them, for the purpose of arresting an offender for example, please ensure that a professional will be able to help them cope afterwards. Make sure someone whom they are safe with can be with them and they can get home safely. Even on a good day, transportation is triggering for us.